Rule Number 1: Never call your ex during quarantine to check in unless you are fully prepared for the reality check and a swift kick in the caboose. (To which I am reluctantly grateful for.)
I admit, this was probably not the most intelligent move I made last week. The call was made in the sincerest way of “are you okay and do you need anything?” His response took me by surprise. Apparently, I am one of the rare people “thriving during quarantine, with one fabulous dinner after another”. I spent most of the next two days in funk. How is this possible that I have quarantine guilt for not being utterly miserable right now? This left me to ponder why am I blissfully happy working from home, enjoying cooking, cleaning and time with The Royals?” How is it that I’m not upset about missing out on concerts, sporting events, or dining out? Am I an introverted extrovert? He did always refer to me as an enigma wrapped in a conundrum.
The truth is he is 100% accurate about my thriving during this period. PPP loans kept me completely wrapped up in work that I have not had much of a chance to be bored, or dwell on my own shortcomings until the last week. (There may have been a small meltdown one night last week when the full gravity of losing 50% of my income set in, and that I would need to have a budget – gasp!) I have three dogs, Peter Pan, Devoted Houseman, HRH who have kept my spirits up and somewhat distracted. The Artist keeps my senses alert and aware of the beauty surrounding us by sending me photos of his paintings in progress. Then my two confidents who always seem to know when I need someone to say its okay, or get over yourself – just do it. And, the Ex with our dysfunctional relationship – but after 18 years there is a certain co-dysfunctionality to be accepted and appreciated.
As weird as this may sound, my initial frustration and anger at the conversation with my ex turned into gratitude. He pointed out not so subtly how fortunate I am. Sometimes we need those reminders when we start to go down the self-pity party path.
I’m thriving partially because I love cooking and taking care of people so shelter from home gives me the perfect platform to excel. I have found local businesses to support by ordering fresh bread weekly from bread & flour, or my weekly veggie box from CVHarvest. My go-to wine dealer Katie at Desert Wine Shop has put together some wonderful selections for curbside pickup. Meat is slightly more challenging to locate locally, but I order from Certified Piedmontese for top notch beef and chicken, and Wild Alaska Seafood for fish. We even ordered in fresh Florida Stone Crabs and pink shrimp from Key Largo Fisheries. Devoted Houseman takes one for the team and will go to the market for any other items we need like rhubarb, eggs and milk.
We’ve splurged and had take-in (okay some like to call it take-out, but I prefer take-in as it is coming into my home not out) from some of our locally owned favorite restaurants such as SiBon, Athena Gyros, Mushasi, Mitch’s, Johannes, Fresh Agave and El Patron. Tried pizza from some local pizza joints – Haus of Pizza and Papa Dan’s. Even a burger or three from Five Guy’s.
I’ve re-learned the art of making a meal from what is on hand, transforming left-overs into a completely different meal, and substituting unique ingredients. I even learned how to cook eggs for breakfast that are not gray, or pebbly. Occasionally I recognize that growing up in rural Montana has its benefits, like recognizing the need early on for a freezer (how else am I going to store the buffalo Peter Pan ordered, or the lemon juice I juiced from the ripe lemons on my tree).
My work-from-home office is amazing – thanks to one of my dearest friends and confidents. I still interact with my co-workers and clients on a daily basis. Those connections/contacts are more meaningful because I can focus solely on the person I’m talking to and not the interruptions an office environment provides. My efficiency and productivity is also more focused. Every morning I tell The Royals (aka my three dogs) it’s time to go to the office and they race each other to get their spots around my desk. My only issue with work-from-home is setting boundaries so there is an end of the work day and not having the proper wardrobe (I admit to being a tad of a shopaholic who loves pretty heels and dresses and with very few casual items).
Home has become a sanctuary, providing not only shelter, but a place of gathering and celebrations of the wonders of life. The backyard is transforming into an oasis of flora and fauna – complete with fresh tomatoes, shishito peppers, bell peppers, and herbs. The entire backyard is now used with different zones for entertaining, relaxing, or just solitary contemplation. I’ve been doing my own gardening and I don’t think my yard has ever looked better.
I’m letting go of the guilt for thriving during this shelter in place period. I’m fully embracing it. It doesn’t mean I don’t have stress or anxiety over the future, finances or life in general. My choice is to embrace the life I have the privilege to enjoy. Cie la vie!
PS, this is one of my favorite shelter in place pantry foods – fresh tomato sauce and spaghetti. It’s perfect for summer as you can roast the past their prime tomatoes in your toaster over or Breville Smart Oven so you don’t heat the house up, and only use a burner to cook the pasta. All you need is dried Italian herbs, garlic to your taste, tomatoes – however many you like or have, olive oil, salt, pepper and whole red pepper flakes, parmesan cheese, lemon zest and juice of half a lemon and a little fresh basil to garnish if you have it. The whole dish is done within 40 minutes and provides a light fresh, healthy summer meal.
